Simon the Silly Snail
Once upon a time there was a silly old snail named Simon. He would laugh hysterically at the silliest things you can imagine.
What kinds of things did he laugh at you ask? Silly things like watching squirrels in polka dot bikinis do the hula hoop or listening to a rhinoceros sing in the shower.
One day Simons’ friend Sally found him looking kind of sad.
“What’s wrong?” asked Sally
“I dunno, nothin’ seems silly to me anymore.” said Simon sadly
“Why?” asked Sally
“I dunno…I see giraffes wearing suspenders to hold up their long pants, I see elephants doing the backstroke in the swimming hole, I see horses doing country line dancing…
But I don’t feel silly anymore. I guess I just have the blues.”
Sally thought about Simons’ dilemma.
“I’ll come back tommorrow and see if you are feeling silly again.” she said
“Ok, but I doubt it.” Simon said
Simon sat in the yard and retreated back into his shell. He soon fell asleep but when he woke up it was raining.
It rained hard all day. The rain even washed Simon away and he was swept down the street into a big puddle of water.
When it stopped raining he poked his head out of his shell and looked around.
The birds were chirping and the sun was shining. Simon started to feel happy again. A long snake slithered his way wearing a ratty fur coat and green goggles. Simon couldn’t help but giggle a little.
“You look so silly.” Simon told the snake
“I do?” said the snake offended and slunk away into the tall green grass.
Simon sat awhile and enjoyed the warm sunshine on his shoulders. A really big, fat cow lumbered over to him and he looked way up at her. There were two rubber gloves stuck to her udders. Simon started to giggle loudly.
Mrs. Cow, you have rubber gloves stuck on your teats!” Simon said, giggling uncontrollably
“What business is that of yours?” said the cow and she sauntered away, her bell clanging around her neck.
Sally came back and found Simon giggling to himself.
“And just what is so funny young man?” asked Sally
“I don’t know, I just can’t help it.” said Simon
“You are one silly snail Simon…” said Sally
And so, Simon the snail was back from his blues that the rain washed away. If you ever feel blue just think of Simon the Silly Snail and you’ll find laughter in all that comes your way.
When Grandpa Got Sick
My Grandpa is the nicest man in the whole world. He always lets me do whatever I want. Sometimes he takes me down to the lake so we can fish.
He helps me put my bait on the line and then we wait for a bite. We’ve caught some pretty big fish. Once I caught a striped bass. Sometimes we’ll go walking together and he will tell me about when he was just a kid like me.
They sure did some silly things back in his day, like play hide and seek and kick the can. I guess they didn’t have computers back then. Grandpa understands the computer, sort of…..
Sometimes we play games on it. I always win. He’s pretty slow…..
Lately Grandpa hasn’t been feeling so well. We don’t play outside anymore. He stays inside the house and watches TV all day long in his favorite loveseat, the one with the hole worn out at the arm..
I sit and watch with him and sometimes we eat popcorn and stuff, he knows how to use the microwave to pop it up really good. Sometimes he drinks a beer and lets me taste it. Gross!
The other night I went to find Grandpa but he wasn’t at home. My Mom told me that they had to take him to the hospital to run some tests on him.
I asked my Mother if we could go and visit him and she said yes. We drove to the hospital and Mom was crying a bit.
Once we got inside there were people being wheeled around on stretchers and in wheelchairs. It smelled funny in there too, like cleaning stuff or something. We rode the elevator to Grandpas floor. There were lot of nurses there and Doctors carrying charts.
We stopped and asked where Grandpas room was. We found it and opened the door. Grandpa was there, lying in the hospital bed covered in a white sheet.
His feet were sticking out of the sheet and he had some black socks on.