Lucas the Oafish Inmate
By Todd Hicks
Copyright by Todd Hicks in November 2016
About the book
This is a novel about a young man who gets so tired of poverty that he breaks the law intentionally to get locked up before causing trouble in prison. Each time he makes a prison break attempt, he gets in more trouble. His ultimate fate is in his hands. Any similarity between the characters and any actual persons is purely coincidental.
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Lucas was doomed from the beginning. Dumb and clumsy, he already had two strikes against him. Most importantly, his penchant for throwing it all away was his downfall.
Coming home to his parents’ farm from school in Georgia on this particular day, Lucas Flake (a big high school senior) was greeted by his mom, “Hi, honey. How was school?”
“Fine, mom,” he replied.
Mom: “Do you have homework today?”
Lucas: “No.”
Mom: “Good. There is plenty of work for you to do in the field after you change clothes.”
She resumed reading the newspaper as Lucas walked out of the kitchen. As he headed toward the base of the stairwell on the way up to his bedroom, he stubbed his big right toe.
“Ow!” he yelped as he grabbed his toe.
After he entered his room, he changed clothes then self-reflected.
“Man, it’s not fun doing farm work and making so little profit that we are poor. Anyway, I might as well make the most of it and have a positive attitude.”
Once he reached the bottom step going downstairs, he slipped and fell on his backside.
“Careful, son,” his mom cautioned.
“I’m too much of a klutz for my own good,” he said only half-kiddingly.
Next, he went into the fields. After baling hay and picking cotton, he unintentionally ripped open a bag of seeds while opening it; as a result, the seeds splattered over the field all around him.
“Drat,” he complained as he picked up the seeds to put them where they belonged.
After managing to finish this job a while later, he unraveled the long garden hose that was less than 25 feet away. As he first turned it on, he fumbled the hose and squirted his face.
“I sure am clumsy. Yuk, yuk,” he verbally jabbed at himself.
A few hours later, he finished watering all of the crops; thus, his work was done for the day. The next morning, he went back to school. His first class of the day was history.
Struggling to grasp the simplest points, his teacher became concerned and told him, “You are in jeopardy of failing this class.”
“I guess I’m doomed to repeat history, Ms. Turner,” returned Lucas seriously.
Ms. Turner replied, “You won’t fail this course if you are serious enough about getting help now. Please see me after school for tutoring.”
“Okay,” Lucas obliged.
As the school day ended early in the afternoon, he went to Ms. Turner’s classroom. She spent over 10 minutes going over Lucas’s notes and textbook material with him. Deeming him ready now, she began asking him questions.
Ms. Turner: “Who was the first president of America?”
Lucas: “Thomas Jefferson.”
Ms. Turner: “No. It was George Washington.”
Toward the end of the one-hour session, Lucas started answering a few questions correctly. Waiting outside the school front door was his girlfriend, Lisa Lackey.
“How was the tutoring session?” she asked him.
“It was fine but I’m having trouble grasping the course,” he responded.
“Hang in there. You can do it,” Lisa assured him.
“Thanks. Anyway, I’m looking forward to our senior prom. Will you be my date?” he added.
“Yes,” Lisa replied enthusiastically.
“Great. I will take you there,” said Lucas.
Next, he walked Lisa to his vehicle, an old, four-door car that was long and blue. After he opened the front passenger door, Lisa stepped in and sat down.
As Lucas closed the door for Lisa, she told him, “Thank you. I’m impressed.”
“No problem. My parents raised me to be a gentleman,” he spoke.
As he walked in front of the car to reach the driver’s door, he slipped on a wet spot.
“Are you okay?” Lisa asked.
“Yes. I must stop being such a clumsy oaf,” he scorned himself.
“Don’t be down on yourself. You’re a great guy,” Lisa offered.
Next, Lucas took her home. For the next few weeks, he spent most of his time attending classes, doing homework, studying for finals or doing farm work. While having difficulty memorizing some of his notes at one point, he became frustrated.
“Doggone it! I am so dumb,” he berated himself.
On prom night the next Saturday, he began trying to tie his bow tie after putting on his tuxedo. Flustered from not getting the hang of it after several tries, he had his father help him.
“There you go. That’s how you do it. Have a fabulous time,” Lucas’s dad told him while successfully putting the bow tie on him.
Lucas responded, “Thanks. I will try to do that.”
Less than 20 minutes later, he picked Lisa up.
Impressed with Lucas’s sharp, black tux, Lisa praised him, “You have a wonderful wardrobe.”
“As do you,” Lucas seconded while admiring Lisa’s stunning white dress.
Once they arrived at their school nine minutes later, they exited the car then walked through the front doors and paid the $25 participation fee. Next, they proceeded to the huge gym room and sat down on blue plastic chairs.
Seeing the pretty purple bunting overhead, Lucas commented, “The ambiance and décor here are magnificent.”
“They might as well be, considering that the prom is the once-in-a-lifetime big occasion for us,” agreed Lisa.
She and Lucas discussed random topics while listening to pop songs. Some of their fellow seniors began entering the room seconds later.