VOLUME 1

Table of Contents

Table of Contents


INTRODUCTION.
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.





CHAPTER I.

Table of Contents

Dost thou think because thou art virtuous there shall be no more cakes and ale?” was the admirable reply of Sir Toby Belch to Malvolio when he would have marred his Christmas * merrymaking with Sir Andrew and the Clown. And how beautiful is Olivia's reply to the self-same precisian when the searching apophthegms of the “foolish wise man, or wise foolish man,” sounded like discords in his ears. “O, you are sick of selflove, Malvolio, and taste all with a distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition, is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.”

* Christmas being the season when Jack Frost commonly takes
us by the nose, the diversions are within doors, either in
exercise, or by the fire-side. Viz. a game at blind-man's-
buff, puss-in-the-corner, questions and commands, hoop-and-
hide; stories of hobgoblins, Tom-pokers, bull-beggars,
witches, wizards, conjurors, Doctor Faustus, Friar Bacon,
Doctor Partridge, and such-like horrible bodies, that
terrify and delight!

“O you merry, merry souls,
Christmas is a-coming:
We shall have flowing bowls,
Dancing, piping, drumming.
Delicate minced pies,
To feast every virgin;
Capon and goose likewise,
Brawn, and dish of sturgeon.

We hate to be everlastingly bewailing the follies and vices of mankind; and gladly turn to the pleasanter side of the picture, to contemplate something that we can love and emulate. We know


Then for Christmas-box,

Sweet plum-cake and money;

Delicate holland smocks,

Kisses sweet as honey.


Hey for Christmas ball,

Where we will be jolly;

Coupling short and tall,

Kate, Dick, Ralph, and Molly.


To the hop we go,

Where we'll jig and caper;

Cuckolds all a-row—

Will shall pay the scraper.


Tom must dance with Sue,

Keeping time with kisses;

We'll have a jolly crew

Of sweet smirking Misses!”—Old Song.


There are such things as opaque wits and perverse minds, as there are squinting eyes and crooked legs; but we desire not to entertain such guests either as companions or foils. We come not to the conclusion that the world is split into two classes, viz. those who are and those who ought to be hanged; that we should believe every man to be a rogue till we find him honest. There is quite virtue enough in human life to make our journey moderately happy. We are of the hopeful order of beings, and think this world a very beautiful world, if man would not mar it with his pride, selfishness, and gloom.

It has been a maxim among all great and wise nations to encourage public sports and diversions. The advantages that arise from them to a state; the benefit they are to all degrees of the people; the right purposes they may be made to serve in troublesome times, have generally been so well understood by the ruling powers, that they have seldom permitted them to suffer from the assaults of narrow-minded and ignorant reformers.

Our ancestors were wise when they appointed amusements for the people. And as religious services (which are the means, not the end—the road to London is not London) were never intended for a painful duty, the “drum ecclesiastic,” which in latter times called its recruits to pillage and bloodshed, often summoned Punch, Robin Hood, and their merry crew, to close the motley ceremonies of a holy-appointed day! Then was the calendar Devotion's diary and Mirth's manual! Rational pleasure is heightened by participation; solitary enjoyment is always selfish. Who ever inquires after a sour recluse, except his creditors and next heir? Nobody misses him when there are so many more agreeable people to supply his place. Of what use is such a negative, “crawling betwixt earth and heaven?” If he hint that Diogenes, * dying of the dumps, may be found at home in his tub, who cares to disinter him? Oh, the deep solitude of a great city to a morose and selfish spirit! The Hall of Eblis is not more terrible. Away, then, with supercilious exclusiveness! 'Tis the grave of the affections! the charnel-house of the heart! What to us is the world, if to the world we are nothing?

We delight to see a fool ** administer to his brethren.

* Diogenes, when he trod with his dirty cobbled shoes on the
beautiful carpets of Plato, exclaimed triumphantly, “I tread
upon the pride of Plato!”—“Yes,” replied Plato, “but with
a greater pride!”

** “A material fool,” as Jacques describes Touchstone. Such
was Dr. Andrew Borde, the well-known progenitor of Merry
Andrews; and the presumed author of the “Merry Tales of the
Wise Men of Gotham,” composed in the early part of the
sixteenth century. “In the time of Henry VIII. and after,”
(says Anthony à Wood,) “it was accounted a book full of wit
and mirth by the scholars and gentlemen.” It is thus
referred to in an old play of 1560:—

“Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
I must needs laughe in my slefe.
The wise men of Gotum are risen againe.”

If merriment sometimes ran riot, it never exhibited itself in those deep-laid villanies so rife among the pretenders to sanctity and mortification. An appeal to “clubs” among the London apprentices; the pulling down of certain mansions of iniquity, of which Mrs. Cole, * in after days, was the devout proprietress; a few broken heads at the Bear Garden; the somewhat opposite sounds of the “belles tolling for the lectorer, and the trumpets sounding to the stages,” ** and sundry minor enormities, were the only terrible results of this national licence. Mark what followed, when masking, morris-dancing, ***

* Foote's “Minor.” Act i. scene 1.

** Harleian MSS. No. 286.

*** The morris-dance was one of the most applauded
merriments of Old England. Robin Hood, Little John, Friar
Tuck, Maid Marian, the Queen or Lady of the May, the fool,
the piper, to which were afterwards added a dragon, and a
hobbyhorse, were the characters that figured away in that
truly ancient and grotesque movement. Will Kempe, “the
comical and conceited jest-monger, and vicegerent to the
ghost of Dicke Tarleton,” who “raised many a roar by making
faces and mouths of all sorts,” danced the morris with his
men of Gotham, in his “Nine daies' wonder from London to
Norwich.” Kempe's “new jigg,” rivalled in popularity his
Peter in Romeo and Juliet; Dogberry, in “Much ado about
nothing;” and

Justice Shallow, of which he was the original performer. In
“Jacke Drum's Entertainment,” 4to. 1601, is the following
song:

ON THE INTRODUCTION OF A WHITSUN MORRIS-DANCE.

“Skip it and trip it nimbly, nimbly,
Tickle it, tickle it lustily,
Strike up the tabour for the wenches' favour,
Tickle it, tickle it, lustily.
Let us be seene on Hygate Greene,
To dance for the honour of Holloway.
Sing we are come hither, let us spare for no leather,
To dance for the honour of Holloway.”

May games, stage-plays, * fairs, and the various pastimes that delighted the commonalty, were sternly prohibited. The heart sickens at the cant and cruelty of these monstrous times, when fanaticism, with a dagger in one hand, and “Hooks and Eyes for an Unbeliever's Breeches,” in the other, revelled in the destruction of all that was intellectual in the land.

* Plays were suppressed by the Puritans in 1633. The actors
were driven off the stage by the soldiers; and the only
pleasantry that Messrs. “Praise-God-Barebones” and “Fight-
the-good-fight,” indulged in, was “Enter red coat, exit hat
and cloak;” a cant phrase in reference to this devout
tyranny. Randolph, in “The Muses' Looking-glass,” makes a
fanatic utter this charitable prayer:

“That the Globe,
Wherein (quoth he) reigns a whole world of vice,
Had been consum'd, the Phoenix burnt to ashes;
The Fortune whipp'd for a blind—Blackfriars!

He wonders how it 'scap'd demolishing I' the time of
Reformation: lastly, he wished The Bull might cross the
Thames to the Bear Gardens, And there be soundly baited.

In 1599 was published “The overthrow of Stage Playes, by way
of controversie betwixt D. Gager and D. Rainolde, where-
in all the Reasons that ean be made for them are notably
refuted, the objections answered, and the case so clear and
resolved as that the judgment of any man that is not froward
and perverse may casilic be satisfied; wherein is
manifestly proved that it is not onely unlawfull to bee an
actor, but a beholder of those vanities, &e. &c.”

When the lute, the virginals, the viol-de-gambo, were hushed for the inharmonious bray of their miserable conventicles, * and the quaintly appropriate signs ** of the ancient taverns and music shops were pulled down to make room for some such horrible effigy as we see dedicated to their high priest, John Knox, on a wall in the odoriferous Canongate of Modern Athens. ***

* “What a poor pimping business is a Presbyterian place of
worship; dirty, narrow and squalid: stuck in the corner of
an old Popish garden such as Linlithgow, and much more,
Melrose.”—Robert Burns.

** Two wooden heads, with this inscription under it: “We
three loggerheads be.” The third was the spectator. The
tabor was the ancient sign of a music shop. Tarleton kept an
eating-house with this sign. Apropos of signs—Two Irishmen
beholding a hatchment fixed against a house, the one
inquired what it was? “It's a bad sign!” replied the other
mysteriously. Paddy being still at fault as to the meaning,
asked for further explanation.—“It's a sign,” cried his
companion with a look of immeasurable superiority, “that
somebody is dead!”

*** Those who would be convinced of the profaneness of the
Cameronians and Covenanters have only to read “Scotch
Presbyterian Eloquence displayed, or the Folly of their
teaching discovered from their Books, Sermons, and Prayers,”
1738—a volume full of ludicrous impieties. We select one
specimen.

Mr. William Vetch, preaching at Linton, in Tiviotdale, said,
“Our Bishops thought they were very secure this long time.

“Like Willie Willie Wastel,
I am in my castel.
All the dogs in the town
Dare nor ding me down.

“Yea, but there is a doggie in Heaven that has dung them all
down.”

Deep was the gloom of those dismal days! The kitchens were cool; the spits motionless. * The green holly and the mystic mistletoe ** were blooming abominations. The once rosy cheeks of John Bull looked as lean as a Shrove-Tuesday pancake, and every rib like the tooth of a saw.

* “The Lamentable Complaints of Nick Froth the Tapster, and
Ruleroast the Cook,” 4to. 1641.

* The magical properties of the mistletoe are mentioned both
by Virgil and Ovid; and Apuleius has preserved some verses
of the poet Lelius, in which he mentions the mistletoe as
one of the things necessary to make a magician. In the dark
ages a similar belief prevailed, and even to the present day
the peasants of Holstein, and some other countries, call the
mistletoe the “Spectre's Wand,” from a supposition that
holding a branch of mistletoe in the hand will not only
enable a man to see ghosts, but to force them to speak to
him! The mistletoe is peculiar to Christmas.

Rampant were those times, when crop-ear'd Jack Presbyter was as blythe as shepherd at a wake. * Down tumbled the Maypoles **—no more music

* “We'll break the windows which the whore Of Babylon hath
planted,
And when the Popish saints are down,
Then Burges shall be sainted;
We'll burn the fathers' learned books,
And make the schoolmen flee;
We'll down with all that smells of wit,
And hey, then, up go we!”

** The downfall of May-games, 4to. 1660. By Thomas Hall, the
canting parson of King's-Norton.—Hear the caitiff,

“There's not a knave in all the town,
Nor swearing courtier, nor base clown,
Nor dancing lob, nor mincing quean,
Nor popish clerk, be't priest or dean,
Nor Knight debauch'd nor gentleman,
That follows drab, or cup, or can,
That will give thee a friendly look,
If thou a May-pole canst not brook.”

On May 1, 1517, the unfortunate shaft, or May-pole, gave
rise to the insurrection of that turbulent body, the London
apprentices, and the plundering of the foreigners in the
city, whence it got the name of Evil May-day. From that time
the offending pole was hung on a range of hooks over the
doors of a long row of neighbouring houses. In the 3rd of
Edward VI. an over-zealous fanatic called Sir Stephen began
to preach against this May-pole, which inflamed his audience
so greatly, that the owner of every house over which it hung
sawed off as much as depended over his premises, and
committed piecemeal to the flames this terrible idol!

The “tall May-pole” that “onee o'erlooked the Strand,”
(about the year 1717,) Sir Isaac Newton begged of the
parish, and it was carried to Wanstead in Essex, where it
was erected in the park, and had the honour of raising the
greatest telescope then known. The New Church occupies its
site.

“But now (so Anne and piety ordain),
A church collects the saints of Drury Lane.”

and dancing! * For the disciples of Stubbes and Prynne having discovered by their sage oracles, that May-games were derived from the Floralian Feasts and interludes of the pagan Romans, which were solemnised on the first of May; and that dancing round a May-pole, adorned with garlands of flowers, ribbons, and other ornaments, was idolatry, after the fashion of Baal's worshippers, who capered about the altar in honour of their idol; resolved that the Goddess Flora should no longer receive the gratulations of Maid Marian, Friar Tuck, and Robin Hood's merry men, on a fine May morning; a superstition derived from the Sibyl's books, horribly papistical and pagan.

* “Good fellowes must go learne to daunce
The brydeal is full near a:
There is a brail come out of Fraunce,
The fyrst ye harde this yeare a.
For I must leape, and thou must hoppe,
And we must turne all three a;
The fourth must bounce it like a toppe,
And so we shall agree a.
praye the mynstrell make no stoppe,
For we wyll merye be a.”

From an unique black letter ballad, printed in 1569,
“Intytuled, 'Good Fellowes must go learne to Daunce.'”

Nor was the “precise villain” less industrious in confiscation and sacrilege. * Painted windows—Lucifer's Missal drawings!—he took infinite pains to destroy; and with his long pike did the devil's work diligently. He could endure no cross ** but that on silver; hence the demolition of those beautiful edifices that once adorned Cheapside, and other remarkable sites in ancient times.

* Sir Robert Howard has drawn an excellent picture of a
Puritan family, in his comedy of “The Committee.” The
personages are Mr. Day, chairman to the committee of
sequestrations; Mrs. Day, “the committee-man's utensil,”
with “curled hair, white gloves, and Sabbath-day's cinnamon
waistcoat;” Abel, their booby son, a fellow “whose heart is
down in his breeches at every turn and Obadiah, chief clerk,
dull, drawling, and heinously given to strong waters. We are
admitted into the sanctum sanctorum, of pious fraud, where
are seated certain honourable members, whose names cannot
fail to enforce respect. Nehemiah Catch, Joseph Blemish,
Jonathan Headstrong, and Ezekiel Scrape! The work of plunder
goes bravely on. The robbing of widows and orphans is
“building up the new Zion.” A parcel of notched rascals
laying their heads together to cheat is “the cause of the
righteous prospering when brethren dwell together in unity
and when a canting brother gives up lying and the ghost, Mr.
Day remarks that “Zachariah went off full of exhortation!”

It was at the sacking of Basing House, the seat of the
venerable Marquis of Winchester, that Harrison, the regicide
and butcher's son, shot Major Robinson, exclaiming as he did
the deed, “Cursed is he that doeth the work of the Lord
negligently.” Hugh Peters, the buffooning priest, was of the
party.

** The erection of upright stone crosses is generally
supposed to have dated its origin from the custom which the
first Christians in this island adopted of inscribing the
Druid stones with a cross, that the worship of the converted
idolator might be transferred from the idol to the emblem of
his faith; and afterwards the Saxon kings frequently erected
crosses previously to a battle, at which public prayers were
offered up for victory. After the Norman conquest crosses
became common, and were erected in market-places, to induce
honesty by the sanction of religion: in churchyards, to
inspire devout and pious feelings; in streets, for the
deposit of a corpse when borne to its last home; and for
various other purposes. Here the beggar stationed himself,
and asked alms in the name of Him who suffered on the cross.
They were used for landmarks, that men might learn to
respect and hold sacred the boundaries of another's
property. Du Cange says that crosses were erected in the
14th Richard II. as landmarks to define the boundaries
between Kesteven and Holland. They were placed on public
roads as a check to thieves, and to regulate processions. At
the Reformation (?!! ) most of the crosses throughout the
kingdom were destroyed, when the sweeping injunction of
Bishop Horne was formally promulgated at his Visitation in
1571, that all images of the Trinity in glass windows, or
other places of the church, be put out and extinguished,
together with the stone cross in the churchyard! We devoutly
hope, as Dr. Johnson hoped of John Knox, that Bishop Horne
was buried in a cross-road.

The sleek rogue read his Bible * upside down, and hated his neighbour: his piety was pelf; his godliness gluttony.

* “They like none but sanctified and shuttle-headed weavers,
long-winded boxmakers, and thorough-stitching cobblers,
thumping felt-makers, jerking coachmen, and round-headed
button-makers, which spoyle Bibles while they thumb over the
leaves with their greasie fingers, and sit by the fireside
scumming their porridge-pot, while their zeal seethes over
in applications and interpretations of Scripture delivered
to their ignorant wives and handmaids, with the name and
title of deare brethren and especially beloved sisters.”—
The doleful Lamentation of Cheapside Crosse, or Old England
sick of the Staggers, 1641.

His grace * was as long as his face. The gnat, like Macbeth's “Amen,” stuck in his throat; but the camel slid down merrily. What a weary, working-day world would this have been under his unhospitable dominion! ** How unlovely and lachrymose! how sectarian and sinister! A bumper of bitters, to be swallowed with a rising gorge, and a wry face! All literature would have resolved itself into—

* One Lady D'Arcy, a well-jointured, puritanical widow,
having invited the next heir in the entail to dine with her,
asked him to say grace. The young gentleman, thinking that
her ladyship had lived quite long enough, expressed his
wishes thus graciously:—

“Good Lord of thy mercy,
Take my good Lady D'Arcy
Unto her heavenly throne;
That I, little Frank,
May sit in my rank,
And keep a good house of my own!”

** John Knox proclaimed the mild sentence, which was loudly
re-echoed by his disciples, that the idolator should die the
death, in plain English (or rather, God be thanked! in plain
Scotch) that every Catholic should be hanged. The bare
toleration of prelacy—of the Protestant prelacy!—was the
guilt of soul-murder. These were the merciful Christians!
the sainted martyrs! who conducted the inquisitorial tyranny
of the high commission, and imposed the test of that piece
of impious buffoonery, the “Holy League and Covenant!!” who
visited the west of Scotland with the free quarters of the
military, and triumphed so brutally over the unfortunate,
patriotic and gallant Montrose. The Scotch Presbyterians
enacted that each episcopalian was liable to transportation
who should baptize a child, or officiate as a clergyman to
more than Jour persons, besides the members of his own
family!

—“The plain Pathway to Penuriousness;” Peachwns “Worth of a Penny, or a caution to keep Money;” and the “Key to unknowne Knowledge, or a Shop of Five Windows


“Which if you do open, to cheapen and copen,

You will be unwilling, for many a shilling,

To part with the profit that you shall have of it;”


and the drama, which, whether considered as a school of eloquence or a popular entertainment, is entitled to national regard, would have been proscribed, because—having neither soul for sentiment, eye for beauty, nor ear for poetry, it was his pleasure to be displeased. His humanity may be summed up in one short sentence, “I will take care, my dear brother, you shall not keep your bed in sickness, for I will take it from under you.” There are two reasons why we don't trust a man—one, because we don't know him, and the other because we do. Such a man would have shouted “Hosan-nah!” when the Saviour entered Jerusalem in triumph; and cried “Crucify him!” when he went up the mountain to die.

Seeing how little party spirit, religious controversy, and money-grubbing have contributed to the general stock of human happiness—that pre-eminence in knowledge is


“Only to know how little can be known,

To see all others' faults, and feel our own,”


we cry, with St. Patrick's dean, “Vive la bagatelle!” Democritus lived to an hundred. Death shook, not his dart, but his sides, at the laughing philosopher, and “delay'd to strike” till his lungs had crowed their second jubilee: while Heraclitus was Charon's passenger at threescore. But the night wanes apace; to-morrow we must rise with the lark. Fill we a cup to Mercury, à bon repos!


A bumper at parting! a bumper so bright,

Though the clock points to morning, by way of good

night!

Time, scandal, and cards, are for tea-drinking souls!

Let them play their rubbers, while we ply the bowls!

Oh who are so jocund, so happy as we?

Our skins full of wine, and our hearts full of glee!


Not buxom Dame Nature, a provident lass!

Abhors more a vacuum, than Bacchus's glass,

Where blue-devils drown, and where merry thoughts

swim—

As deep as a Quaker, as broad as his brim!

Like rosy fat friars, again and again

Our beads we have told, boys I—in sparkling champagne!


Our gravity's centre is good vin de grave,

Pour'd out to replenish the goblet concave;

And tell me what rubies so glisten and shine,

Like the deep blushing ruby of Burgundy wine?

His face in the glass Bibo smiles when he sees;

For Fancy takes flight on no wing like the bee's!


If truth in a well lie—ah! truth, well-a-day!—

I'll seek it in “Fmo,”—the pleasantest way!

Let temperance, twankay, teetotallers trump;

Your sad, sober swiggers at “Veritas” pump!

If water flow hither, so crystal and clear,

To mix with our wine—'tis humanity's tear.


When Venus is crusty, and Mars in a miff,

Their tipple is prime nectar-toddy and stiff—

And shall we not toast, like their godships above,

The lad we esteem, and the lady we love?

Be goblets as sparkling, and spirits as light,

Our next merry meeting! A bumper—good night!








CHAPTER II.

Table of Contents

“The flow'ry May, who from her green lap throws

The yellow cowslip and the pale primrose.”


'Tis Flora's holiday, and in ancient times the goddess kept it with joyous festivity. Ah! those ancient times, they are food for melancholy. Yet may melancholy be made to “discourse most eloquent music,”—


“O why was England 'merrie' called, I pray you tell

me why?—

Because Old England merry was in merry times gone by!

She knew no dearth of honest mirth to cheer both son

and sire,

But kept it up o'er wassail cup around the Christmas

fire.


When fields were dight with blossoms white, and leaves

of lively green,

The May-pole rear'd its flow'ry head, and dancing round

were seen

A youthful band, join'd hand in hand, with shoon and

kirtle trim,

And softly rose the melody of Flora's morning hymn.


Her garlands, too, of varied hue the merry milkmaid

wove,

And Jack the Piper caprioled within his dancing grove;

Will, Friar Tuck, and Little John, with Robin Hood

their king,

Bold foresters! blythe choristers! made vale and moun

tain ring.


On every spray blooms lovely May, and balmy zephyrs

breathe—

Ethereal splendour all above! and beauty all beneath!

The cuckoo's song the woods among sounds sweetly as of

old;

As bright and warm the sunbeams shine—and why

should hearts grow cold?” *

* This ballad has been set to very beautiful music by Mr. N.
I. Sporle. It is published by T. E. Purday, 50, St. Paul's
Church Yard.

“A sad theme to a merry tune! But had not May another holiday maker? when the compassionate Mrs. Montague walked forth from her hall and bower to greet with a smile of welcome her grotesque visitor, the poor little sweep.”

Thy hand, Eugenio, for those gentle words! Elia would have taken thee to his heart. Be the turf that lies lightly on his breast as verdant as the bank whereon we sit. On a cold, dark, wintry morning, he had too often been disturbed out of a peaceful slumber by his shrill, mournful cry; and contrasting his own warm bed of down with the hard pallet from which the sooty little chorister had been driven at that untimely hour, he vented his generous indignation; and when a heart so tender as Elia's could feel indignation, bitter must have been the provocation and the crime! But the sweep, with his brilliant white teeth, and Sunday washed face, is for the most part a cheerful, healthy-looking being. Not so the squalid, decrepit factory lad, broken-spirited, overworked, and half-starved! The little sweep, in process of time, may become a master “chum-mie,” and have (without being obliged to sweep it,) a chimney of his own: but the factory lad sees no prospect of ever emerging from his heart-sickening toil and hopeless dependance; he feels the curse of Cain press heavily upon him. The little sweep has his merry May-day, with its jigs, rough music, gingling money-box, gilt-paper cocked-hat, and gay patchwork paraphernalia. All days are alike to the factory lad—“E'en Sunday shines no Sabbath-day to him.” His rest will be the Sabbath of the tomb!

Nothing is better calculated to brace the nerves and diffuse a healthful glow over body and mind than outdoor recreations. What is ennui? Fogs, and over-feeding, content grown plethoric, the lethargy of superabundance, the want of some rational pursuit, and the indisposition to seek one. What its cure?


“'Tis health, 'tis air, 'tis exercise—

Fling but a stone, the giant dies!”


The money-grub, pent up in a close city, eating the bread of carefulness, and with the fear of the shop always before his eyes, is not industrious. He is the droning, horse-in-a-mill creature of habit—like a certain old lady of our acquaintance, who every morning was the first up in the house, and good-for-nothing afterwards. A century ago the advantages of early rising to the citizen were far more numerous than at present. A brisk walk of ten minutes brought him into the fields from almost any part of the town; and after luxuriating three or four miles amidst clover, sorrel, buttercups, aye, and corn to boot! the fresh breeze of morn, the fragrance of the flowers, and the pleasant prospect, would inspire happy thoughts: and, as nothing better sharpens the appetite than these delightful companions, what was wanting but a substantial breakfast to prepare him for the business of the day? For this certain frugal houses of entertainment were established in the rural outskirts of the Metropolis, *

* “This is to give notice to all Ladies and Gentlemen, at
Spencer's original Breakfasting-Hut, between Sir Hugh
Middleton's Head and St. John Street Road, by the New River
side, fronting Sadler's Wells, may be had every morning,
except Sundays, fine tea, sugar, bread, butter, and milk, at
four-penee per head; coffee at threepence a dish. And in the
afternoon, tea, sugar and milk, at threepence per head, with
good attendance. Coaches may come up to the farthest gar-
den-door next to the bridge in St. John Street Road, near
Sadler's Wells back gate.—Note. Ladies, &c. are desired to
take notice that there is another person set up in
opposition to me, the next door, which is a brick-house, and
faces the little gate by the Sir Hugh Middleton's, and
therefore mistaken for mine; but mine is the little boarded
place
by the river side, and my backdoor faces the same as
usual; for

I am not dead, I am not gone,
Nor liquors do I sell;
But, as at first, I still go on,
Ladies, to use you well.
No passage to my hut I have,
The river runs before;
Therefore your care I humbly crave,
Pray don't mistake my door.
“Yours to serve,
Daily Advertiser, May 6, 1745. “S. Spencer.”

where every morning, “except Sundays, fine tea, sugar, bread, butter, and milk,” might be had at fourpence per head, and coffee “at three halfpence a dish.'” And as a walk in summer was an excellent recruit to the spirits after reasonable toil, the friendly hand that lifted the latch in the morning repeated the kind office at evening tide, and spread before him those refreshing elements that “cheer, but not inebriate;” with the harmless addition of music and dancing. Ale, wine, and punch, were subsequently included in the bill of fare, and dramatic representations. But of latter years the town has walked into the country, and the citizen can just espy at a considerable distance a patch of flowery turf, and a green hill, when his leisure and strength are exhausted, and it is time to turn homeward.

The north side of London was famous for suburban houses of entertainment. Midway down Gray's Inn Lane stands Town's End Lane (so called in the old maps), or Elm Street, which takes its name from some elms that once grew there. To the right is Mount Pleasant, and on its summit is planted a little hostelrie, which commanded a delightful prospect of fields, that are now annihilated; their site and our sight being profaned by the House of Correction and the Treadmill! Farther on, to the right, is Warner Street, which the lover of old English ballad poetry and music will never pass without a sigh; for there, while the town were applauding his dramatic drolleries—and his beautiful songs charmed alike the humble and the refined—their author, Henry Carey, in a fit of melancholy destroyed himself. *

* October 4, 1743.

Close by stood the old Bath House, which was built over a Cold Spring by one Walter Baynes, in 1697. * The house is razed to the ground, but the spring remains. A few paces forward is the Lord Cobham's Head, ** transmogrified into a modern temple for tippling; its shady gravel walks, handsome grove of trees, and green bowling alleys, are long since destroyed. Its opposite neighbour was (for not a vestige of the ancient building remains) the Sir John Oldcastle, *** where the wayfarer was invited to regale upon moderate terms.

* According to tradition, this was once the bath of Nell
Gwynn. In Baynes's Row, close by, lived for many years the
celebrated clown Joe Grimaldi.

** “Sir—Coming to my lodging in Islington, I called at the
Lord Cobham's Head, in Cold Bath Fields, to drink some of
their beer, which I had often heard to be the finest,
strongest, and most pleasant in London, where I found a very
handsome house, good accommodation, and pleasantly situated.
I afterwards walked in the garden, where I was greatly
surprised to find a very handsome grove of trees, with
gravel walks, and finely illuminated, to please the company
that should honour them with drinking a tankard of beer,
which is threepence. There will be good attendance, and
music of all sorts, both vocal and instrumental, and will
begin this day, being the 10th of August.

“I am yours,

“Tom Freeman.”

Daily Advertiser, 9th August 1742.

*** “Sir—A few days ago, invited by the serenity of the
evening, I made a little excursion into the fields.
Returning home, being in a gay humour, I stopt at a booth
near Sir John Oldcastle's, to hear the rhetoric of Mr.
Andrew. He used so much eloquence to persuade his auditors
to walk in, that I (with many others) went to see his
entertainment; and I never was more agreeably amused than
with the performances of the three Bath Morris Dancers. They
showed so many astonishing feats of strength and activity,
so many amazing transformations, that it is impossible for
the most lively imagination to form an adequate idea
thereof. As the Fairs are coming on, I presume these
admirable artists will be engaged to entertain the town; and
I assure your readers they can't spend an hour more
agreeably than in seeing the performances of these wonderful
men.

“I am, &c.

Daily Advertiser, 27th July 1743.

See a rare print, entituled “A new and exact prospect of
the North side of the City of London, taken from the Upper
Pond near Islington. Printed and sold by Thomas Bake-well,
Print and Map-seller, over against Birching Lane, Corn-hill,
August 5, 1730.”

Show-booths were erected in this immediate neighbourhood for Merry-Andrews and mor-ris-dancers. Onward was the Ducking Pond; * (“Because I dwell at Hogsden,” says Master Stephen, in Every Man in his Humour, “I shall keep company with none but the archers of Finsbury or the citizens that come a ducking to Islington Ponds;”) and, proceeding in almost a straight line towards “Old Iseldon,” were the London Spa, originally built in 1206; Phillips's New Wells; *



0041m
Original
* “By a company of English, French, and Germans, at
Phillips's New Wells, near the London Spa, Clerkenwell, 20th
August 1743.

“This evening, and during the Summer Season, will be
performed several new exercises of Rope-dancing, Tumbling,
Vaulting, Equilibres, Ladder-dancing, and Balancing, by Ma—
dame Kerman, Sampson Rogetzi, Monsieur German, and Monsieur
Dominique; with a new Grand Dance, called Apollo and Daphne,
by Mr. Phillips, Mrs. Lebrune, and others; singing by Mrs.
Phillips and Mrs. Jackson; likewise the extraordinary
performance of Herr Von Eeekenberg, who imitates the lark,
thrush, blackbird, goldfinch, canary-bird, flageolet, and
German flute; a Sailor's Dance by Mr. Phillips; and Monsieur
Dominique flies through a hogshead, and forces both heads
out. To which will be added The Harlot's Progress. Harlequin
by Mr. Phillips; Miss Kitty by Mrs. Phillips. Also, an exact
representation of the late glorious victory gained over the
French by the English at the battle of Dettingen, with the
taking of the White Household Standard by the Scots Greys,
and blowing up the bridge, and destroying and drowning most
part of the French army. To begin every evening at five
o'clock. Every one will be admitted for a pint of wine, as
usual.”

Mahommed Caratha, the Grand Turk, performed here his
“Surprising Equilibres on the Slack Rope.”

In after years, the imitations of Herr Von Eeekenberg were
emulated by James Boswell. (Bozzy!)

“A great many years ago, when Dr. Blair and I (Boswell) were
sitting together in the pit of Drury Lane Playhouse, in a
wild freak of youthful extravagance, I entertained the
audience prodigiously by imitating the lowings of a cow. The
universal cry of the galleries was, 'Encore the cow!' In the
pride of my heart I attempted imitations of some other
animals, but with very inferior effect. My revered friend,
anxious for my fame, with an air of the utmost gravity and
earnestness, addressed me thus, My dear sir, I would confine
myself to the cow!'”

the New Red Lion Cockpit; * the Mulberry Gardens; **

* “At the New Red Lion Cockpit, near the Old London Spaw,
Clerkenwell, this present Monday, being the 12th July 1731,
will be seen the Royal Sport of Cock-fighting, for two
guineas a-battle. To-morrow begins the match for four
guineas a-battle, and twenty guineas the old battle, and
continues all the week, beginning at four o'clock.”

** “Mulberry Gardens, Clerkenwell.—The gloomy clouds that
obscured the season, it is to be hoped, are vanished, and
nature once more shines with a benign and cheerful
influence. Come, then, ye honest sons of trade and industry,
after the fatigues of a well-spent day, and taste of our
rural pleasures! Ye sons of care, here throw aside your
burden! Ye jolly Bacchanalians, here regale, and toast your
rosy god beneath the verdant branches! Ye gentle lovers,
here, to soft sounds of harmony, breathe out your sighs,
till the cruel fair one listens to the voice of love! Ye who
delight in feats of war, and are anxious for our heroes
abroad, in mimic fires here see their ardour displayed!

“Note.—The proprietor being informed that it is a general
complaint against others who offer the like entertainments,
that if the gentle zephyrs blow ever so little, the company
are in danger of having their viands fanned away, through
the thinness of their consistence, promises that his shall
be of such a solidity as to resist, the air!”—Daily
Advertiser, July 8, 1745.

The latter part of this picturesque and poetical
advertisement is a sly hit at what, par excellence, are
called, “Vauxhall slices.”

the Shakspeare's Head Tavern and Jubilee Gardens; * the New Tunbridge Wells, **

* In 1742, the public were entertained at the “Shakspeare's
Head, near the New Wells, Clerkenwell,', with refreshments
of all sorts, and music; “the harpsichord being placed in so
judicious a situation, that the whole company cannot fail of
equally receiving the benefit.” In 1770, Mr. Tonas exhibited
“a great and pleasing variety of performances, in a
commodious apartment,” up one pair.

** These once beautiful tea-gardens (we remember them as
such) were formerly in high repute. In 1733, their Royal
Highnesses the Princesses Amelia and Caroline frequented
them in the summer time, for the purpose of drinking the
waters. They have furnished a subject for pamphlets, poems,
plays, songs, and medical treatises, by Ned Ward, George
Col-man the elder, Bickham, Dr. Hugh Smith, &c. Nothing now
remains of them but the original chalybeate spring, which is
still preserved in an obscure nook, amidst a poverty-
stricken and squalid rookery of misery and vice.

a fashionable morning lounge of the nobility and gentry during the early part of the eighteenth century; the Sir Hugh Middleton's Head; the Farthing Pie House; * and Sadler's Music House and “Sweet Wells.” ** A little to the left were Merlin's Cave,

* Farthing Pie Houses were common in the outskirts of London
a century ago. Their fragrance caught the sharp set citizen
by the nose, and led him in by that prominent member to
feast on their savoury fare. One solitary Farthing Pie House
(the Green Man) still stands near Portland Road, on the way
to Paddington.

** Originally a chalybeate spring, then a music-house, and
afterwards a “theatre-royal!” Cheesecakes, pipes, wine, and
punch, were formerly part of the entertainment.

“If at Sadler's sweet Wells the wine should be thick,
The cheesecakes be sour, or Miss Wilkinson sick,
If the fume of the pipe should prove pow'rful in June,
Or the tumblers be lame, or the bells out of tune,

We hope you will call at our warehouse at Drury—We've a
curious assortment of goods, I assure you.” Foote's Prologue
to All in the Wrong, 1761.

Its rural vicinity made it a great favourite with the play-
going and punch-drinking citizens. See Hogarth's print of
“Evening.”

“A New Song on Sadler's Wells, set by Mr. Brett, 1740.

'At eve, when Sylvan's shady scene
Is clad with spreading branches green,
And varied sweets all round display'd,
To grace the pleasant flow'ry meads,
For those who're willing joys to taste,
Where pleasures flow and blessings last,
And God of Health with transport dwells,
Must all repair to Sadler's Wells.
The pleasant streams of Middleton
In gentle murmurs glide along,
In which the sporting fishes play,
To close each weary summer's day;
And music's charm, in lulling sounds,
With mirth and harmony abounds;
While nymphs and swains, with beaus and belles,
All praise the joys of Sadler's Wells.'”

Bagnigge Wells, * the English Grotto (which stood near the New River Water-works in the fields), and, farther in advance, White Conduit House. **

* Once the reputed residence of Nell Gwynn, which makes the
tradition of her visiting the “Old Bath House” more than
probable. F or. upwards of a century it has been a noted
place of entertainment.'Tis now almost a ruin! Pass we to
its brighter days, as sung in the “Sunday Ramble,” 1778:—

“Salubrious waters, tea, and wine,
Here you may have, and also dine;
But as ye through the gardens rove,
Beware, fond youths, the darts of love!”

** So called after an ancient conduit that once stood hard
by. Goldsmith, in the “Citizen of the World,” celebrates the
“hot rolls and butter' of White Conduit House. Thither
himself and a few friends would repair to tea, after having
dined at Highbury Barn. A supper at the Grecian, or Temple
Exchange Coffeehouses, closed the “Shoemaker's Holiday” of
this exquisite English Classic—this gentle and benignant
spirit!

Passing by the Old Red Lion, bearing the date of 1415, and since brightened up with some regard to the taste of ancient times; and the Angel—now a fallen one!—a huge structure, the architecture of which is anything but angelic, having risen on its ruins, we enter Islington, described by Goldsmith as “a pretty and neat town.” In ancient times it was not unknown to fame.


“What village can boast like fair Islington town

Such time-honour'd worthies, such ancient renown?

Here jolly Queen Bess, after flirting with Leicester,

'Undumpish'd'' herself with Dick Tarleton her jester.


Here gallant gay Essex, and burly Lord Burleigh,

Sat late at their revels, and came to them early;

Here honest Sir John took his ease at his inn—

Bardolph's proboscis, and Jack's double chin!


Here Finsbury archers disported and quaff'd,

Here Raleigh the brave took his pipe and his draught;

Here the Knight of St. John pledged the Highbury Monk,

Till both to their pallets reel'd piously drunk.” *


In “The Walks of Islington and Hogsdon, with the Humours of Wood Street Compter,” a comedy, by Thomas Jordan, 1641, the scene is laid at the Saracen's Head, Islington; and the prologue celebrates its “bottle-beer, cream, and (gooseberry) fools and the “Merry Milkmaid of Islington,

* “The Islington Garland.”

or the Rambling Gallant defeated,” a comedy, 1680, is another proof of its popularity. Poor Robin, in his almanac, 1676, says,


“At Islington

A Fair they hold,

Where cakes and ale

Are to be sold.

At Highgate and

At Holloway

The like is kept

Here every day.

At Totnam Court

And Kentish Town,

And all those places

Up and down.”


Drunken Barnaby notices some of its inns. Sir William d'Avenant, describing the amusements of the citizens during the long vacation, makes a “husband gray” ask,


“Where's Dame? (quoth he.) Quoth son of shop

She's gone her cake in milk to sop—

Ho! Ho!—to Islington—enough!”


Bonnel Thornton, in “The Connoisseur,” speaks of the citizens smoking their pipes and drinking their ale at Islington; and Sir William Wealthy exclaims to his money-getting brother, “What, old boy, times are changed since the date of thy indentures, when the sleek crop-eared 'prentice used to dangle after his mistress, with the great Bible under his arm, to St. Bride's on a Sunday, bring home the text, repeat the divisions of the discourse, dine at twelve, and regale upon a gaudy day with buns and beer at Islington or Mile-end.” *

Among its many by-gone houses of entertainment, the Three Hats has a double claim upon our notice. It was the arena where those celebrated masters, Johnson, ** Price, Sampson, *** and Coningham exhibited their feats of horsemanship, and the scene of Mr. Mawworm's early back-slidings. “I used to go,” (says that regenerated ranter to old Lady Lambert,) “every Sunday evening to the Three Hats at Islington; it's a public house; mayhap your Ladyship may know it.

* “The Minor,” Act I.

** Johnson exhibited in 1758, and Price, at about the same
time—Coningham in 1772. Price amassed upwards of fourteen
thousand pounds by his engagements at home and abroad.

*** “Horsemanship, April 29, 1767.

Mr. Sampson will begin his famous feats of horsemanship next
Monday, at a commodious place built for that purpose in a
field adjoining the Three Hats at Islington, where he
intends to continue his performance during the summer
season. The doors to be opened at four, and Mr. Sampson will
mount at five. Admittance, one shilling each. A proper band
of music is engaged for the entertainment of those ladies
and gentlemen who are pleased to honour him with their
company.”

I was a great lover of skittles, too; but now I can't bear them.” At Dobney's Jubilee Gardens (now entirely covered with mean hovels), Daniel Wildman * performed equestrian exercises; and, that no lack of entertainment might be found in this once merry village, “a new booth, near Islington Turnpike,” for tricks and mummery, was erected in September 1767; “an insignificant erection, calculated totally for the lowest classes, inferior artisans, superb apprentices, and journeymen.”






Fields,

* “The Bees on Horseback!” At the Jubilee Gardens, Dobney's,
1772. “Daniel Wildman rides, standing upright, one foot on
the saddle, and the other on the horse's neck, with a
curious mask of bees on his face. He also rides, standing
upright on the saddle, with the bridle in his mouth, and, by
firing a pistol, makes one part of the bees march over a
table, and the other part swarm in the air, and return to
their proper places again.”

** Animadvertor's letter to the Printer of the Daily
Advertiser, 21st September 1767.

*** August 22nd, 1770, Mr. Craven stated in an
advertisement, that he had “established rules for the
strictest maintenance of order” at the Pantheon. How far
this was true, the following letter “To the Printer of the
St. James's Chronicle” will show:—

“Sir—Happening to dine last Sunday with a friend in the
city, after coming from church, the weather being very
inviting, we took a walk as far as Islington. In our return